I am amazed at how much information I have shared with the public, where I have volunteered to serve, what the outcomes of the volunteering has been, & so on.
Storm Uri came through Texas about the time of my birthday, in fact it hit right after my second Pfizer shot on the 11th of February where I got mine done at Parkland Hospital in Dallas Texas.
When the winter started to chill all of a sudden and my windows were iced over, I hydroplaned about 6 times that day and pulled over to pour water to remove it when I couldn't see. My family asked me to leave my car there at Parkland after that until the storm was over.
I remembered the winter weather when I was very young trying to run naked in the snow- which in actual real snow will get you in lots of trouble.
There were moments when I walked three miles to pay a bill for rent in the middle of it that I was worried about dying.
People did die, the electricity went out where I was, no running water- so I started boiling the snow, and it never occurred to me that there was such a thing as ERCOT, I thought Texas had been a Republic so many years even before it was sold to the Union that they remained independent in an "Electrical Power Grid"
There was a college asking me to come to their Medical School and do an application online in the middle of this weather that turned out they were not even a medical college, they were just some nosy University in Michigan wanting to see something about me and offering me $92-$144K to come there.
We have all been in a bit of a storm during the Pandemic. When I went down to the Texas Medical Board, one of the security officers told me that no one was there in the building and that this was becoming the new norm that people were not around and everything was shut down and everyone was working from home, etc. It is not something that I accept as fact longer term.
Throughout the whole pandemic I have been working on call in some form or fashion and writing up reports, meeting with people, at one point my car didn't have breaks and I was driving around with the emergency break.
I worked on a project that I designed as a child for writing different genes of music on the same album because as a kid I was tired of people fighting over being only into one type of music and not getting along with each other, they all told me that I was crazy that no one wants to hear different genres of music on the same album- it wouldn't make any sense because people buy what they follow and they only follow into their clicks or whatever, and I said that was fine, they could call me crazy, but I could still write, sing, and produce whatever I wanted however I wanted it, and no one could stop me from doing it.
www.genius.com/Crescenda if you want to read things that I have written. I am taking some of the things down, and removed some things about my bio.
I was in band at a young age and forced to play the Oboe because I was smart when I really wanted to play the Saxophone. I was into wanting to learn Jazz more then that I am now. I ended up playing the Oboe and they explained to me that because of my IQ it was the hardest instrument with the most keys to memorize. I learned it, but I eventually left the enrichment program designated for high IQ smart kids because they would not let me make my decisions to do any of the activities that I really wanted to do, and I felt like the whole point of participating in an enrichment talented and gifted or TAG program was to learn things you wanted to learn.
I have been in Texas since 1989, and it has snowed about 5 times memorably, but this freak Uri Storm that hit, seemed to take the entire State of Texas by surprise, and did an incredible amount of damage.
My portable internet device that I got specifically to do school/work on, seemed to have 11 days left when the storm hit but wouldn't connect me inside my classroom.
I went to a "Warming Center" at Kay Bailey Hutchinson where I went in the wrong direction into the shelter and they said since I was not staying there I could not come in and that the entrance for the warming room was around the corner.
So I went in on the side of the building, where we have had Helicopter expos before, and found some emergency management set ups that didn't look like anyone was doing anything at the moment, and a group of people came in on a golf cart and asked me if I counted the food, and I said no, but I know how to count do you want me to count the boxes? He then realized that I was not there for work and he asked me how I could think it was a warming center in the middle of the old stage arena that I had been on with Tony Robbins, and I told him that I was used to being in the snow at times- how am I suppose to know what a warming center looked like? I have never been told to go to a warming center before in a snow storm in Texas.
So I ended up going upstairs and logging into one of the classes and working as much time as there was to be there.
For those of us who have lived in emergency after emergency to volunteer to learn principles in medicine for natural disasters, there is a sense of belonging to the busyness before the burnout that gets you going.
The Norms of the Pandemic I think have been that everyone is burned out from something. Burned out from doing nothing and having to live at home and work from home, and rearrange your whole life waiting for the end of social distancing.
I had this moment of clarity in the middle of some personal danger about a particular medicine that I cannot disclose the circumstances of, but I was amazed at writing out my medical case studies from personal experience to relate to content, that I started visiting old addresses and all of the diversity of people from different backgrounds I had been associated with, where at one point I called the wrong number by accident to a Louis Pasteur address, if you know who Louis Pasteur is I would be thrilled, and she kept asking if it was an emergency for me calling and I thought she was crazy that she was answering the phone when I was just trying to call my old apartment complex.
It turned out since the old apartment complex in the medical center where I lived with someone who was doing medical billing was in the Medical Center in San Antonio, that the numbers were similar if you were driving by trying to memorize them, but I was one number off because I didn't write it down and wasn't paying attention in motion due to fighting from travel and fatigue.
My laptop got damaged because someone got mad and threw it out the window, but I have been fixing it myself, and realizing that it is going to need a little more fixing, even though most is cosmetic damage and it works pretty well after that abuse, I wouldn't give up on my education, even though I started progressing in a few areas and lacking in one of the classes.
It has been eye-opening at the Swarms of people that are starting to come outside, even with social distancing or attempts at it in place, I cannot imagine where we were during the shutdown when this thing broke out and everywhere you went there was a ghost town. Curfews were being put in place. People in my building were coming down with COVID-19, a girl who wanted to be my secretary came up positive, and some other countries were so crowded with cases that they were setting up camps outside like World War II and treating people in the open air.
While I have been keeping myself busy in an isolation category, I have been worrying about the reports and the people who have not been in this type of situation before, and are not used to being alone that often.
Being alone on a campus by yourself for years on end can feel like a prison or eternity, even if you are just there studying in a library reading.
People are social creatures, well, most people are social creatures, some people I have met are not so social, some of them actually act up if they are around too many people.
I tried to attend a symposium on Autism Spectrum Disorders that came up in my invites virtually for the first time. I am not sure that I got participation credit because of how it was organized virtually, but I took screen shots of some of the power point presentation, and I sent in questions, & then I called someone that has Social Anxiety Disorder and doesn't sound like he has aged in the past ten years. I was questioned about someone having Asperger's that I didn't think had as severe of Asperger's as another kid that one of the dean's asked me to befriend, and another colleague that did have a form of it but was working on his dissertation research and I have the two hour recording somewhere. he came with me for a day to one of the medical colleges in Dallas.
When someone with Autism is comfortable with you and won't shut up- it is actually hard to tell that they have a disorder until they tell you and you observe some of the repetitive habits or shying away from other people you might not even know that someone has it. I assumed that if someone is talkative and can talk your ear and head off and doesn't know when to quit that meant that they didn't have it. I didn't know that some people are only quiet at first until they are comfortable with you and then they are like other people that I know that at times or a lot of times, likes to hear themselves think out loud or the sound of their voice. I am not that way. I enjoy talking to people and listening, but I do not listen to my own voice very often, and I sing, I am mortified at the thought of singing publicly now that I have had LASIK and can see crowds of people. it was much easier being blinder taking off glasses so people were blobs. Blobs are not scary.
I enjoy all people having intellect conversation and it doesn't matter to me if someone is classified as having an abnormality for the most part, because I enjoy people figuring out logic or expressing it, I find that people who are on the spectrum tend to think out loud and can be drawn to attempting logic more so even if they lack social skills, so my main concern is that I am not causing someone anxiety or mood disturbances or hurting them by my social interactions. I always worry with Autistic people that when they are drawn to me initially or paired to hang out so they can be around someone that is more social that the over exposure to my level of socialness in larger groups of people would cause unneeded perception of harm when they are afraid of people they do not know and it is difficult for them to communicate in crowds.
I am pretty open about when I am agitated with all men, so that is normal for me and only last a few moments, I do not run around being angry all the time, or wanting to harm people in general.
One of the hardest things that I have never been able to grasp, is the concept of doctors and death within their oath.
I was so angry at the world over this pandemic because people were dying, and I for one, couldn't stop it, and I had this unexpected blame on society for not coming up with a cure before the pandemic hit, that if we have all of this technology, there should be no reason why a computer couldn't have figured out the virus and BAM! Just like that. 2 weeks, we have a cure, the world world is administered and nobody dies.
It's an unrealistic expectation and dependence on technology alone in solving all of your problems when humans have to be able to control and contribute to the outcome of technology.
I was preparing for the Plague titled Black Death in history where 50 million people died. Even so, the numbers and the circumstances of not knowing everything with what we are dealing with, having to shut down the economy, people dying, and a lot of front liners dying, it was like being forced to live in a world where no one knew who was going to get to live or die and paranoia was spreading and this was the new Norm, a Swarm, in the Storm.