I know it is Thursday, but it was a slower progress in order to feel like I could focus on feeling 100% after I couldn't get out of bed
So starting on Saturday, I completely shut down, and it took until last night to complete what I had intended to do on Saturday had it not been for burnout
I have been travelling essentially since after Storm Uri hit Texas and then I established a business address up in the North East part of the US to be able to travel home, they wanted me to obtain a new credit card in order to rent to go back to Texas, and I thought, well I would give it a go and had been planning out places up this way for decades if I was ever able to finish any business
I forgot which school in New York the South Korean coach that used his American Express to buy the beer down in Richardson was from ( I am sure it's in my notes somewhere )
Last night or the night before, I started feeling like I could walk normally and work on following up with paperwork
I got a lot of run arounds for second opinions on my vehicle that was in an accident trying to save Sophie's life that I had written a book about her before she died and ventured into drop shipping under www.LuxuryDog.Site
Today I wrote a few emails and had woken up at 2AM and then fell back asleep in the morning and then started going through about 156 items in order to go over goals & look at the tax implications
I know I filed 5 years worth of tax information, but it may have been through the business side, I have a login code for the IRS but I am unsure of how to get back to the screen that was taking all my information
I was screaming a little bit in agony during burnout and my new puppy that I am not sure about how to get her to stop chewing (I was singing to her, that only works if you are petting her not to eat everything and she is chewing on one of the chew toy bags I splurged on at Goodwill)
It kind of felt like I had been spit through working on an exhaust pipe too long but also when I used to be at Radiator Works when it used to be open or dropping engines in cars back when I was a teenager- just jetlaggy kindof but rundown, rundown, hard to move, grateful for being able to get up to drink water and lay back down, not able to drive
I was able to drive after Monday fully
I stuffed all my medical case studies in a folder and then went through an entire pad of engineering paper
I bought an adobe package but haven't had time to work on it by renewing and and sit down and download the book template for the Children's book
I talked with someone about doing business internationally because I reinvested all of my personal income on my own and a few items were businesses for partnerships in other countries
I have mainly been in PA / NJ / DE / MD as the rental company that I was going to see about leasing the car long term or buying stated I couldn't leave these areas
It started raining heavily today and went dark and the radio was talking about a storm so I pulled over because not only could I not see, I couldn't tell if I was in the path of anything
Right now I am writing down websites of businesses I have invested in over the past few years, and some I have had projects about as early as 9 years old, so I thought about creating a few things because it makes me happy (sometimes)
One of the domain registrants called to offer me something as did another service wanting to help me with a particular site
I also got a threatening phone call from someone that had already tried attacking me but I ended up just blocking them & decided life can be shorter if you allow people who don't want to change the inability to change on their own without them downright making death threats to you or against you through other people
You can only help someone so much that resents you or continuously puts you in danger uneccesarily (I am so tired I am spelling that wrong)
It kind of feels like I spread myself too thin until I broke into a million pieces and it is just achy all over
The new dog has been a challenge, and I forgot that I bought her her own website before I met her
it kind of feels like I am suffering from a downward spiral of anterior grade depression (like there is such a thing and I can pinpoint it in neuroanatomy on my brain LOL) from losing Sophie and things just going so wrong with the car accident and everything else BUT it doesn't hit me in waves and I am not waking up crying
I have had a few nightmares, but that is normal, and then it feels like I am processing her loss and my car not being fixed and just an unknown what happens next in an unfamiliar setting, but more importantly, with the newer pup, I have been afraid since she doesn't bark I am going to forget she is with me and I get wishy washy about it and scared and am taking it one day at a time and have entertained making sure she didn't have a better option being placed with whoever bred her- she has had SO many puppies it llooks like, but then again I have never had a dog that has ever had puppies I do not think
So I get kinda sad but it doesn't overwhelm me so much that I can't function
Wiped out from burnout yes- not moving around from depression no
I have also been having a lot of second thoughts about all of my relationships
Coming out of a pandemic, I feel so sucked out of social interactions at one point and then suffocated thinking about getting married eventually, but not suffocated from wanting to have a family or children, just suffocated emotionally thinking about where my status as a women would be compared by any man that I love
I think I have also spent a lot of time working on brain health app concepts & I bought something related to a health bot I wanted until I could figure out which .bot to buy when jeff bezos stepped down
I thought he was stepping down DOWN, but it was more like oh wow, now he is chairman
Warren Buffet that I used to study stepped down too
I thought that meant they were leaving their companies, not stepping down to a lower position
I was happy to hear that someone I met through the Dallas Chapter of the Ninety-Nines Wally Funk www.wallyfly.com got picked to go up with BlueOrigin though
One of my accountant Mensa friends that is married to a dentist is texting, I can't believe I went through two different accountants besides talking to him and gave them materials and did what they asked and they kept backing out needing more and then not knowing if they could do anything
I don't know where I am going to be able to record a few songs I have written
I better get back tow ork while I have a little bit of energy to finish up until I pass out