That is the thing about rape and sexual assault to begin with, it is not about love, it is not about attraction, it is about control.
I was raped by a supervisor at a telemarketing company shortly after being emancipated by the State of Texas after being a missing and exploited child. I started working legally as an adult at the age of 16, which required me to have a guardian because I was not old enough to sign contracts.
Being locked in an apartment for 6 weeks to tell a kidnapper who convinced a few of the girls in our group to leave their families behind and start a new life in the adult entertainment industry, some of these girls were 14 and 15, was an experience that haunted me, especially when the guy got out of prison and targeted me through other people to find me, and initially I did not remember him, I only remembered that the girl who took me to the border and across to Mexico, had my truck stolen the night before, and on the way back we got stopped, and afterwards, she asked me if I knew this guy, and I said his name sounded familiar and then she took me to him in another city, where he told me that he got 2 years of prison time for his stint and wanted me to work with him to sell ads, and that I was too old for him now because I had hit 21, which was his joke, and he said that he finally got what he always wanted a young naïve 19 year old to marry a 40 year old man to be obedient to and dependent on and easily controlled.
There were rules with the way that the girls were distributed behind closed doors or behind bullet proof glass and picked out like dogs in lingerie and taken to the back room. If they looked at another man (here meaning a pimp) the man/pimp had the right to approach them and speak to them, and if they spoke back they had the right to take them home and work them. If they were minors, they were charging $1500 an hour for the meetings, but there were rules about how they did that too, because they would not give the girls any money, they wanted them to come ask them for it, and they were really specific over using it as a means of control so that they could keep them working. None of the girls were independent, which is what an entertainer or an actress would call it being allowed to collect their own dues and determine their work, some of them were drugged, I put mustard in one of their ears and the police thought the guy was following us around homeless at the Galleria Mall, which I found hilarious. He stuck his tongue in my mouth and tried to kiss me once and his tongue was rough probably from doing drugs, and I did not like it. He was probably in his 40s as well, the main organizer was 28, and the guy was his older brother.
In any case, I once tried to through the TV out of the window to escape and one of the girls lied and said that I was trying to drown myself swimming because I was drunk. She did not want to return home because she said she was making too much money, and her father paid for a private investigator to find her and they asked me for their phone number whenever I got back home to my father's, whom the FBI had already taken the computers and stripped them to see if they could find anything, the girl had gone through my email where I protested to him online that I did not want to be involved in anything relating to them taking girls and trafficking them basically.
I did not get raped, and was only isolated for the 6 weeks until I stole a limo sort of, I told one of their clients we were minors and convinced them to let me borrow their car to take back to the greyhound with one of the girls, I ended up on the amber alert system, and one of my best friends whose mother I had emailed to say we were no longer in Texas when we really were, has MS, a debilitating disease of the brain with deterring white mater, assisted with the FBI coming to the apartments to find us but I had did not give the apartment number details, we ran and I got to take one of the girls with me, and then there was so much press activity at school and fingers pointing at me for it being my idea when I was the one who said don't go, they had chose to go without me and so I hopped on board at the last minute because I knew that they didn't know him and had never met him, and I expected them to come home, we promised to be gone 3 days to see how it was, because he promised that he would be taking care of anything to them, and it turned into a manhunt for us, and we were extremely lucky to be alive after all was said and done.
I know that both of the girls had sex with him, I had not hit puberty yet at this time, they were more developed, and so since they had larger breasts, they were more sellable he would say, and they would act at first like they were competing for him to be his top girl or something.
The supervisor from the telemarketing company was married, and I had a crush on him, but I was in a relationship with my then boyfriend and now ex-husband who identified the rape when I did not know, because the hospital had to tell me that I was drugged with GHB. I remember meeting him and the guy from the office for drinks, I was 16 at that time, I lived down the street from him at my guardian parents house, and my guardian brother begged me not to go out with him. My boyfriend at that time was furious and accused me of cheating on him. I told him I did not know what he was talking about because I had not had sex with anyone, and he said that he could feel it. They took photos of my insides and said that my vagina reacted like a wall during the rape from the guy who drugged me and went at it, and since they found GHB in my system that was why I could not remember.
Fast forward to years later when I took a stranger home from a bar, who held me down and raped me and told me that there was something wrong with me because I told him to wear a condom, I was not on birth control at the time, he was irate and I screamed for him to let me go, and took a photo of his license plate which he caught me doing, and I tried to tell him that I wanted his phone number to call him later, he told me no, that he did not want me to call him or see him again, and then as I was trying to drive away, he jumped in my vehicle and told me that I was not going to tell anyone anything. Detective Ahren's was the investigator over the case, and he told her that he did not remember the incident, just that his penis didn't work. I spent a few weeks scrubbing myself, I visited the hospital to rule out aids and be tested for STDs, and to make sure he did not leave any unwanted semen deposits, which I would have aborted. I went to counseling, I had an administrator at a college bring up the incident during their testing center and apologize, but it ruined my semester if not my whole year there, and I went in for therapy after breaking down, and forgiving him and the classmate that asked me for 4 months to go to that bar, but remembering that, his view of something being wrong with me and him not wanting to wear a condom, has no place for me to think or feel that it is ok because this is what women are for, which to me was a very scary part of going through cognitive behavior therapy, after listening to men who held those views.
When I was in the third grade, I had a boy try to kiss me, when I was in a physical corner. I ended up racking him in the balls, to where his parents sued the school for not watching us, because they tried to sue my parents, and my father told them to f-off it constituted as self-defense. The boy lost his ability to have children after trying that with me. We were between 7-9 years of age I suppose at the time, the boy was a larger boy in a higher grade, and I remember I was worried about my head hitting the back of the hangers and had no way out around him as he tried to get on top of me to force a kiss. For a Presidential Candidate to have made his life's fortune merely on image, and justifying that image as allowing him to act as a sexual predator, it brings up a lot of issues over how we address with our children what to do when someone forces themselves on them, and here, especially if they are public figures in positions of power, that all children, and adults, anyone that these figures feel humans are subordinates of, regarding how to keep our people safe, involved in any interaction, whether it is online, in person, or through third parties.
I am deeply disgusted and appalled, if not somewhat enraged, over processing what Mr. Trump displayed about how it is men's God-given right to grab women, that when you are a star you can do anything, and someone that I once considered a business man that I looked up to in the real estate industry, I have to say that I am breaking up with Trump, and I am no longer using any of his teachings, which some include what we may have learned in the Art of the Deal, & I did not even think it was shocking for his tax-code, it was his attitude of thinking that he is smarter than everyone else but not showing them how to do the same thing that he has done, that prohibits the wealth distribution that is needed for others to raise out of poverty, or for the middle class to achieve upper class and vice versa.
For me, his market with the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, target 14-26 year old females, as in girls, teenagers, and young women, and his philosophy to date them when they are 30, and drop them when they are 35, carries out into some of his policies should he become President. I cannot image the entire United States of America, having to conform to Trump's idea of beauty over brains, and why he is trying to convince the public that in 18 months of being on a campaign trail, it makes up for 69 years of his misogynist views. I recognize that being a misandrist, is not an effective way to maintain healthy relationships, and that historically since women have been viewed as inferior, I was wanting to explore the same hatred misogynists had, which by the way, I have done on both sides, so I have also held views that women need to be the support system for man and not head of the household, and the conclusion that I myself have come to is that whether you are male or female with misandrist or misogynist values, they are both extremes, they do not counter part the other, they only show a way of being with rage and anger.
All I see with his previous market is an entertainment mongrel that was able to legally force prostitution with arbitration contracts of beauty, and sell it to a mass public. Now I am biased in being someone who has survived it, been forced to watch it, targeting when the guy got out of prison for going to jail over exploiting minors. For Trump though, his saying that if you have power you can do anything, is something that at first, to be honest, I was not shocked over, I expected that from him, but what was worse, is that I expected it to be acceptable to the public, because part of me expects that men like him have an excuse to say that they are allowed to do so, until I applied those principles that he has built his fortunes on, and asked myself, what has everything he stood for in this campaign excuse this one time behavior. Then I realized that even thought I have openly said I am biased that I want a woman President, there was part of me that said- I also want to learn how to have wealth like Trump, I want to believe in him, and then it was not a one time incident, it was his whole way of life, and what he represents works for him, but to me does not work for America.
I am more concerned in knowing who owns Trump. Trump doesn't own himself, he has spent years with foreign partners that he may very well be keeping quiet because he doesn't want the hypocritical questions over who invests in our diplomacy as well as supporting terrorism- you don't know without going through all of his business dealings, and for those of his arrangements within entertainment that there is a do not disclose non-disclosure agreement, it is only for him and his friends who are partners which really spells communism, The same way that I had a former broker teach me that Facebook, is a tool that supports you being with your friends, if you only sell to your friends, you are not being apart of democracy.
I understand that Trumps only motive is to win this election, regardless of whether or not the things he does and says actually represents the American People, or if his displays are harmful towards women, minorities, judges that have an education, just because Trumps main component for qualification is not how to make the economy diverse openly, he only is able to show that he cares for people who are objects within the entertainment industry, and anyone else that opposes him automatically does so if they are not for him. Forget it if they say they are not for either of them, it will come back to being only about Trump.
Do I think that Hillary Clinton should be unable to be President because her marriage had a falling out? Initially I wanted the mentality that if you can do it, I can do better.
When Hillary is in the oval office- where are the interns? Her turn. That is what I felt outraged that he lied to the American People. This is not a trial over Bill's time in office though. If you are going to look away from Trumps statements 11 years ago, you are going to have to quit bringing up her husband's past, when it is her credentials that are being evaluated for this election, just as Mr. Trumps it.
This is not a couples battle in the White House, where Bill and Melania are at the podium defending their spouses.
I am only going to address how traumatic it was for me to piece together the underlining meanings of the video tape and being brought up by Anderson Cooper, who did a great job in getting it out of the way and tried to make Trump accountable for his actions that he deflected and did not acknowledge, no Corporate Social Responsibility there, but also that both media modulators tried to take the heat out of the debaters and redirect it to the audience who I am sure was absolutely petrified from asking questions.
I did not feel that it was at all a Town Hall meeting, I felt that it was a battle between the sexes. I think I can count 6 people perhaps that spoke up and got to ask questions and I am not sure if that included the audiences questions, but for over an hour of live television, there should have been more issues and questions answered.
Let me also apologize for any preconceived notions that men speak that way in their locker rooms, that I may have believed, and let me thank all of you who raised this important issue and spoke out against it not bring the norm, so that those of us who have survived sexual assault feel safer knowing, there are men who care about something other than grabbing genitalia.
Also know, that my own child, who was forced to speak out against me in name calling, knows that his mother is going to force him to clean up horses&(^, for every day he has degraded and dehumanized her, so that he learns that even if he gives into peer pressure, he will have to face consequences.
Breaking up with Trump consisted of me giving away items that I had read of his publications, putting away misandrist beliefs and exhausting that I may not find a man who is exactly equal to me to spend the rest of my life with, but I recognize, especially having overcome PTSD, that while I may think godly too much so for any man, I am actually wanting to be able to trust my partner for a commitment that would be in both of our best interests, so that, it is not an uneven power struggle for the next whatever years, should I ever remarry, and start a new family.
I strongly feel that anyone who thinks 250,000 people, such as the ones who live in Aleppo, should not have an attitude to "Let Aleppo Fall, it has already fallen", because it goes against teachings of prevention of genocide, and does nothing for us as what we have learned from the Holocaust.