Squire Maguire was a poodle like my grandmother used to have, that was given to me by the Grace of God, my mother, who is obviously a little more educated than my father, based on reading both of their dissertations, but I am being biased as a woman partially, and partially not, because I am comparing the depth and volume of the pages their typists had to help (and I remember using a typewriter, so I know the dedication in writing up anything and appreciating the art of hand writing letters, and the use of modern technology, and the balance in doing or having them both) in the union which is my birth, from both parents, I have loved them equally in parenting, but I give creed to their expertise in education, with what I have evidence for.
Mister Dallas, the SPCA of Dallas Texas convinced me to adopt, and I nicked named him a "Mister" using the MR for mental health resource at the end of his longername for "Dallasite", and taking them both as service essentially for me and a community within the Dallas, Texas & surrounding cities in Texas, such as we all went down to San Antonio, Mister Dallas looked like my pregnancy dog Benjamin that was with me that become my son's dog for 13 years until he died of bone cancer, & beyond those two...
I met on Veteran's Day last year, a Rescue named Sophie that a girlfriend I had met through working essentially that was down from Oklahoma, picked out and wanted us to take home to Grand Prairie, which the Landlord didn't approve of, so Sophie and I ended up moving in together and I took responsibility for her, & last week, I was dealing with someone's mental health emergency and had to pull over on the side of the road, and I wrecked my car trying to save her life, I ran through a pole, most likely backing in, because I am fairly certain or uncertain that my google maps on an app misdirected the visuals and had repositioned itself for where I was driving, and I couldn't see the hospital, but the moment I did, I didn't care that someone had pronounced her dead, I had to try to see if the veterinarians in Whitehall, Pennsylvania (Valley Center), could do anything, because we had $20K in insurance and I just spent $2K on her injury last month between Ohio and West Virginia, where I don't know how she got injured, but I also spoke her to sleep even after she stopped breathing and said that I understood if she was too good to be here on this earth with me, I had just finished her website that we tried dropshipping on and wrote a children's book to talk about not discriminating against breeds of animals overall I suppose was the point of the book, and that Dogs are a Luxury to have, or what have not, & I was hysterical after she was pronounced dead, but I recorded reading to her, the book that I wrote, and I kept her at the Hilton, I am not sure what Nicky Hilton, whom I have met formally, that told me never to quit playing dress up, or Paris her sister that was in my Exhale Spa with a what does she think she is wearing with that math t-shirt look, but I was grateful, that while my car malfunctioned and we brought her into my room, that she was with me and I gave her a proper P.E.T.A. (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) hopefully approved compromised burial- I did not skin her to make a book like the unclaimed woman at Harvard I wanted to visit, but I thought, she was still able to feel pain when I knew she couldn't and recorded myself talking about it in a state of shock, and was only able to keep a little bit of her fur- carried her for two days decomposing even though I knew she smelled and I smelled checking on her.
I am in a room right now where she used to lay, in a bed that she slept in next to me, in Princeton, NJ, where we got an AirBnB from a post-doc writing person, & I guess I am more heartbroken that I am not waking up out of a Coma, to be with my dogs, but moreso that I buiilt up these creatures in my mind to love, but moreso, that I could pass down, like I did with Benjamin, and so I started writing a wartime recovery type of a song that is not finished yet called POMPOMs, meaning "Prisoner of War" because- we may never know the impact of those that welcome us home, that are these creatures who make us feel safe when we are in the unknown, but her and I kept an apartment together, for the first time, in a longer time, about 13 months, she helped me through a pandemic.
I buried a mask with her.
It was last week when she passed, so I am slowly crawling out of the emotional heaviness from shock, I dropped a class towards one of my degrees, even though I wrote a song for the whole series of the classes, no matter.
I am going to do my best to upload everything for her and the other dogs I have branded for their purposes, and start by finding some resources to span out the financing and scheduling of my book writings- hers is finished, I am writing down the addresses and even the companies like Starbucks that got me into giving her a pup cup. Now I can't even look at a whip cream dispenser without tearing up that I was travelling with her and giving her pup cups when Starbucks wasn't available.
I also learned you can't just taxidermy pets and if you try to you can't cling to their decaying bodies for days on end.
I wrote "I don't care if you decompose, all over my clothes" as a line for POMPOMs because I know that those who have fought the wars that give us the freedoms we have in America, have gone to great lengths to carry their loads, whether it be there bretheren or women included thereof, and the memories of the fallen, and I am terrible with the dates of history itself in remembrence, but I was going through a veteran's affairs document to see the actual numbers and time frames and names...
I was looking for another studio to bring her into to be able to record "Me & My Dog" but I had also wanted to bring in the people in the second-chance prisoners program that were training the dogs to be adoptable within the jails, because it was mentioned on an advertisement, and once upon a time I used to communicate between politicians their stance on prison reform, I tried to claim an unused property for a business project to be an attraction, but it crossed my mind too about the rehabilitation programs
Either way, I am wallowing right now in her former spot, not really caring if a company is trying to convince me my vehicle had wear and tear when it's obvious I took out a street pole that I barely noticed in the moment trying to get her to the hospital.
I have to go back and most likely edit this since I can see the typos
I am glad I got to take her to so many beaches and universities and cities up here up north that I haven't been back for and felt the earth move during Hurricane Sandy because my feet used to be there on those beaches, & we survived Storm Uri, but not everyone did down in Texas, so, I was reading about a younger child, a boy that had frozen to death in the snow, and I couldn't believe that he or anyone had to die due to an ERCOT controlled powergrid, literally I thought Texas was so independent no outsiders controlled anything ever.
I never got to take her inside the University of Texas, even though they finally approved it- I did buy her cactuses for our new place and some for my grandmother's grave.
She got to see some of the most beautiful universities of the Ivy League and lots of public places in between.
Even her ride on a train was memorable, even though she barked a little, and the Parks to spend the night at camping grounds she was getting issues with in Oklahoma, for again barking, and approaching people- I don't know how she was trained since she was a rescue, but the Budget Suites we stayed at for a few weeks, even the manager stated that she was there to protect me, so it was memorable.
We have moved around so much for me doing work towards filing my taxes, that, while I am in disbelief that she is gone, I hope her memory lives on, and that I am able to help use what I built a life and brand around her, for something greater than ourselves in theory of concert.
I used to dig up dead animals on my path to school, so I remember the smell, but I was spoiling her and planning for her to live forever anyways, and I will have to keep her room when we sign a new contract for another dog and hopefully when I have a daughter, she can have some memorable experiences with the kindness from Pitbull mix Terrier whose death as a Pitt Bull was pure bull, I had a dean from Pittsburgh University give me credit for something I was not expecting, so that was nice, she seemed to enjoy Easter at there and I doubled back to actually wander around University of Pennsylvania on their graduation day, & someone at Southern Methodist University took photos of her for Dogs@SMU that I am sure sometime if I ask correctly I can find to immortalize her.
Squire Maguire and Mister Dallas once fell asleep with me on the practice football field and ran through Perkin's Chapel.
Sophie got to take pictures in Dallas Hall & I grew to love her that I wouldn't let her go voluntarily, so between colleagues laughing at me in white coats while I am dressed up as a character, and them telling me they want to send me to Africa to teach them not to eat dog, and fake dog mimicked recipes by student organizations that are having me verbally speak in Korean for the first time on a podcast to 'Free the North Korean people" from the UTDallas steps, which I haven't formally studied, so hopefully whatever was translated was correct enough...
I no longer have my puppy that I loved dearly and kept me warm- but I am trying to keep an open mind to keep room for love of animals in my life, & I know that dogs have different personalities just like humans and you can't replace them completely by filling your void with a new one.
I know there is a booklet someone has for my patent ideas for all of the dogs somewhere that I partially wrote on a DART system in motion (Dallas Area Rapid Transit)
I am bound to hang around New jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Delaware by the rental company agreement, until something changes.
There is an organization for three of the states that I have looked into joining for commercial real estate purposes up this way.
I have to finalize it.
I am just feeling her presence missing and I better get back to work on my other things and distract myself as much as possible.
Signing off for now. Going through statements for the extra month for filing taxes since we had a snow storm a little bit.
Until next time, please visit my other pages, I hope I can change some of the formats, & that's all for now.
I am deactivated being plugged in to keeping everyone alive on Facebook.
Tallying up work hours and answering my phone in my sleep for emergencies.
I had anxiety from not responding after I started getting some down time and needed to travel.
It is kind of like if I can't respond to everyone else's emergencies what good am I?