I found out about the Dallas Shootings through friends online, it came up in my news feed, I had just finished a test at 6:00PM that day. July 7th, We Will Never Forget.
I had previously to our Fourth of July Holiday spent time researching Neuroscience and Aerospace Medicine at Camp Bullis, 7000 Acres which is part of the Joint Base San Antonio for Lackland. It is a military site where I stayed in Student Housing. I left there at about 6:30AM and worked in 5 different cities to be at 6:00PM for a class in Frisco, Texas.
I left messages for Detective Ahrens and did not realize she lost her husband until after I thought it was her, so I called out of concern and emergency, then commented for her to disregard the message because it was just some man, then calling to apologize and give condolences for her loss. I responded in a state of shock initially and tried to call back as if I was calm about the situation. Terrorism is not a light matter to take into account for the faint of heart.
#UTSouthwestern is where I was during the Thanksgiving Square Interfaith Prayers at 1:00PM the very next day.
July 8th
I spent all day Saturday meeting with people during a #HumanRightsDallasSummit where I wrote a proposal for curriculum for a PhD Program July 9th, and I talked about how I could never replace her husband. We held round table discussions and spoke about the shooting, some of the women who had lived through the civil rights movements as well as women's rights movement felt as if their ability to protest had been taken away, not by the police, but by the shooter.
July 10th I worked. I thought about what I could do to honor the fallen. I came up with a solution and called a company to do an engraving on an object. Not sure where to put it...
July 11th We held a Candelight Vigil in front of City Hall. I took pictures and photos of my surroundings, not of any individual people, I did of the building, I tried my best to take photos of the ceremony, and then I woke up crying clutching my white coat in the morning, mourning, and cried so 10 minutes late for my first class July 12.
Immediately drove down to San Antonio, stayed across the street from the courthouse, as we had a hearing and I represented myself Pro Se on July 13th, where I turned around and had to drive back to Dallas.
Along the way I stopped in Temple and Bell County to rest, and driving back home was a 7 hour trip because of exhaustion, I have called and checked in with many counselors many times throughout this process, psychological interviewing and counseling sessions are fairly common during times of tragedy and I support people talking about their emotions and saving other's lives from them being able to do so in a confidential format for everyone.
I took a five hour nap in the middle of the day after class yesterday. When we are on long shifts working, we are ordered and required to get rest. It is especially needed during times of tragedy where emotions are high, some actions have to be delayed for safety reasons, and one of my thoughts about everyone having to unite together lingers somewhere in between on my walk towards my vehicle after the candlelight vigil.
I have not taken care of myself solely, I have checked in with people, and my stream-of-consciousness, & I have been physically nauseous at times for the travel, stress, and so forth.
I have called my EAP, and asked questions relating to the press, and I have not done anything against any advice, I have made controversial statements, as well as showing both sides of an argument, & listed phone numbers for the public to call for their mental health emergency needs, or where they can also find help, take shelter if their situation arises it for the matter.
I will publish a list of upcoming articles should that help, and am updating websites that right now are being transferred.
Thank y'all for reading and interacting with me online, in person, what have not.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------