I do not think I have had an actual break during the entire duration of the past decade, including the pandemic, when it comes to certain activities and duties and functions and educational standards.

I can prove my attestment of this as my newer puppies cage crate thingy is where two of my printers are with some misc paperwork and other items that need to be haven gone through.

I have locked up some of my paperwork and going through cleaning out my closet and organizing things around the house in order to not be a fire hazard when having so many documents and notes accumulating over 30 years it seems like on physical form strown in storage bins in between clothing.

Updated some lyrics in order to record a few songs. I have two music journals that I wanted to have a copy made of for publishing and then historical reference but have been trying to find a way to do so.

Well at least you know I am tired enough that I am making up words I cannot spell.

For some reason I thought we published an article in August.

I haven't had a whole bunch of me time for the past decade anyways and I cannot believe post-pandemic is happening, or at least people are going through the motions of getting back to their normal.

I have some exercises to do, and my bruises are almost completely healed from being hit by a car while walking the dog, but I did mix some of the salts, always be careful with what you mix before you put it in your mouth!

Today is also National Drug Takeback Day, I have been reading about the contamination that can occur pouring used medicines down the drain.

Been getting some weird questions or demands from people I have previously dated, or friends I have not seen in forever, wanting to know this and that.

I think I have officially gotten one day off this past two years, and that was really yesterday for the most part. I am about to double check some ginger tea combination I was simmering in a stove pot. 

The bread machine didn't work that I bought used but most of the other appliances did.

An awesome Vietnam War Veteran called me the other day after I left him a voice mail. 

​

I got to visit the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania & I took a plethora of notes.

Today I spent about 4 miles of exercise on a walking the dog around the neighborhood while sending videos before being fully awake to Mark Hailey on LinkedIn at NASA.

For the morning after exercise, today I have thus far cleaned out all of the leftovers in the fridge and restocked a teapot, decided to through out some things I was going to boil on the apples because the residue from the milk being left in the fridge seemed to have stuck to the sides & I wasn't sure if baking them at a higher temperature would remove the bacterial.

I mailed some working out type cookies that I have experimented with & got a few certificates for Continuing Medical Education over Sports Medicine from presentations through Scottish Rite.

309 other notes to go over, & I took notes during the presentations and have a few more presentations to sit in on.

There is a box underneath my desk with bottles to recycle and reuse or throw away.

I am going to attempt to make protein cakeballs without a bunch of sugar. 

Bruised somewhat from being hit by a car walking the dog last week, but other than that I am fine.

Diluted some tea by itself and looking to my healthcare ideas and purchases for that industry.

One of the women where I currently am, I talked to her (she is a Nurse) she was talking about her patients & other things and was discussing food from her country, so I took some Banana leaves from what we normally make Tamales with (I know how to make Tamales by hand from living in San Antonio) and boiling the leaf, & I used old ginger from a last batch of tea to plant in soil with some used lemons peels to play around with it.

Cleaning out my closet that is also full of paperwork and other clothings for weather appropriate functioning.

In the middle of a "Patient Safety" presentation & Complex systems that I am normally in, I am reading and pausing to review the material.

Updating passwords and addy info for projects. Trying to consolidate streamlining the social networking platforms that can integrate into bytes as relevant as needed on my pages.

I am also wanting to go back to Dr. Benjamin Levi's Diversity Equation to steal his formula that we was showing for his team on a presentation. 

REally need an editor for my errors in typeing on here....

On September 11th of this year, I was invited to listen to a talk over a recap of Nine-Eleven, and Colin Powell was a huge influence for leading his men through all types of wars, it's hard to conceive that Great Men fall victim to things like Aging, Cancer, and complications from COVID-19. Colin Powell was 84 years old. I sent a message through a website to give my regards to Lloyd Austin over his friend passing.

It felt just like he was here with us Yesterday because it was only last month I was in an Auditorium watching him and then on a trial Apple TV subscription for what was not part of the discussion.

He took center stage very well in connecting with his audience over politics, and power, and humanity.

Condelleza Rice (I probably mispelled her first name, I am in the middle of classes and typing up other corrections, so I will most likely be doing that with a lot of these articles) was with him on screen when we had our discussion.

I fell asleep the other night listening to an Airline owner talk about the FAA & I did my best to communicate with them. 

I really try not to take sides in politics by siding with one particular group, & sometimes you can see the beauty in America through it's leaders like Colin Powell talking about his children that had made him a Facebook page.

Out of all the crazy things I have listened to in my life, like George W. Bush was a "War Criminal" for invading Iraq, or Barrack Hussein Obama was "White because he went to Harvard" I don't think I ever had to hear anything bad about how dedicated Colin Powell was to his public service, or his Military Career.

I think I have heard more rumors about a former Navy Chancellor William McRaven than I have about Colin Powell, I think Rex Tillerson had to deal with more than what was disclosed on his plate, & some of that, he probably at one point discussed with Colin Powell about his leadership, given that they were both in the same positions as Secretary of State.

I remember when I missed my last voice lesson from my music teacher who was the first African-American to be named Mr. UTSA, and of course it was an entirely different scenario, but anyone that has paved the way to break barriers no matter what those firsts were, deserve to have some sort of dignity in their remembrance without the jaded view of history being distorted.

​I better head off to bed, and finish a class.

I was reading a blub through the WHO.INT about how it is killing people no be misinformed over COVID-19.

I was talking to a TV director at NASA, and he mentioned that his boss died after becoming infected, and that he took the Coronavirus novel very seriously.

I might mention that the public blog that you are reading, which doesn't have many viewers or anything as far to my knowledge, was requested by Aries Keck initially for me to have a public blog in order for the public to read whatever it is that I have volunteered for doing social media by visiting NASA events back then.

I really wish there was a button I could push in order to store all of my Facebook or other contents on social media into one digital file that was interchangable so I did not have to pay for things like Hootsuite to populate articles, and yet here we are- I am my authentic self: it is 10:47AM October 4th, 2021.

I changed some of my information at the UTSOUTHWESTERN website for contacting me, but fell short of changing my outside email address even though the inbox is getting completely full.

A few classmates or friends that I had met online that have a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder, wanted to share with me how difficult it has been for them for the pandemic, & one of them wanted to tell me that he was finally diagnosed with Aspergers.

My last article probably felt as if I had been misinformed that studying to become whatever it is that I am, a medical scientist, for one, as in a doctor with an MD PhD, because when you are a younger person, and you are wanting to know everything, because you think that it gives you equality or authority with or over your peers to whoever your family is in responding to knowing something, you are willing to make up things you might not know or might not understand, in order to sound cool. When you are trained to become a doctor, at least in my experience, it has been, that what you do not know, you do not pretend to, because that in itself can be just as dangerous as the misinformation that occurs and can kill people, such as what we have seen in this pandemic.

I got in trouble with my own members in my family over trying to convince them to take the vaccine because they are so religious in the sense that there is some kind of fear, that I tried to make Jesus Christ a "Great Physician" and convince them that Jesus was a healer, he did not want to spread disease & either way it came across as none of my business & ended up in me freaking out and being alarmed because I had not heard from them and calling the police because I thought they went out of communication from death, and I was wrong, it was a 72 hour shift for me, so I am inclined to be wrong at times and human.

I am not really practicing an array of religions or anything when I was trying to study the majority of them once upon a time to understand human's and how they felt in different cultures, but I was explaining how taxing it was to try and keep up with all of that all of the time on the different calendars to connect with people from different faiths, as in participating directly by being invited and going to their different events.

I think it is universal, just like in weapons training, that whatever you are going to be pointing your weapon at, you must always be using it to destroy it, not control it, not play with it, not pretend to, but destroy it.

As physicians, our oaths declare that we target disease, not the humans, but the disease. We are here to destroy the ailments that cause harm to the human element.

We are not pointing our fingers to destroy each other, yet something that happens due to the conflicts in different beliefs and opinions.

I actually cannot remember how many times I have recieted taking that oath, but I have for most of my life, (cannot spell whatever that was receit) so I was really happy when someone that was super paranoid over the government or being forced to take anything and then finally trying out the vaccine had the same response that I did not not feeling much from it, that his worrying was premature, & I do not know if he participated in being rewarded for it, it sounded like he did, they gave him something in exchange.

Either way initially he was only going to be wearing a mask and then he finally decided that he wanted to get it and then all of the rumors about what would happen turned out to be false.

I am going to look more into the 154 American Medical Colleges even though FASFA only lets you choose 10 at a time for consideration for aid.

I had to update something so it says it will take them 3-5 days to process, but I have been petitioning for basics since 2013, as far as the start of what was consider student worker status until I was vetted for research in 2014, so I might end up just taking a break from anything relating to medicine period since I have never changed my major all multiple times and requests to reapply to obtain my degrees, I don't want to keep listening to promises by places like the Texas Medical Board that they are going to withdraw anything atrocious for participating in anything, and then they fail to do so, plus people are calling me asking me if I am in Utah or New Jersey, and I am like, see, I have been in Texas since 1989 I am so geographically off that I think Utah is by New York City,  but for whatever reason it opened up some kind of teaching portal for counseling entrance I think, I need to look at the specifics, but I do not know if it notifies those schools automatically until you have other terms that you need for completion and if they are not available or meeting through both parties or all parties or however your contracts read, then I still need to apply to be able to have my life under the medical sciences dedicated to something wherever I am needed, as to not waste my education completely, even if I am able to take a break.

I do not consider everything living in an emergency state during a pandemic in taking a break, but I had a horrible test score for an overall class due to some anxieties and being away that I am debating about whether to drop the course and find somewhere that has moreso of a successful outcome in order for me to complete the series that doesn't have the weight of the world to affect someone's quality of life where I am so worried that I cannot perform or that I am having to deal with something that is distracting me from completing what is needed for my degrees.

For years I have been saying I should probably take down my credentials that are published from some of the Universities for other students coming into a class room and attacking me through gossip collumns or other means, but you do what you can, and I do what I can, when I can.

​​

I just got off the phone with someone from a college I am attending, then I called an Omnbudsman or something that I was clicking through and reading through under the Department of Education for FASFA and Student Aid, just as I had previously discussed terminating my loan debts, because I have consistently requested my degrees, or at minimum payment, starting as a Student Worker that was never received since 2013.

Since my loans have been in constant default for the most part, that, if you will, assignments where I am unable to do things accordingly being at mercy to work under conditions where I am out of communication for extended period of times, yet unpaid but doing my best to document all of my work- no matter the condition, I have no way of renewing- nor would I want to, any loans beyond all of my time that has been collected and taken away from me having the degrees or the paychecks, so sometimes when I am talking to people (who I probably ended up meeting volunteering on Prison reform once upon a time in San Antonio or their connections) that I have been going to school so long, in college since I was 17 really, that no matter what way you look at it- I am institutionalized because my life has revolved around a University in one format or another.

Here in America, we have things like Freedom of Speech, that not all countries have the liberties of their citizens to enjoy. When I go back through my transcript in all of my attempted hours, classes, and degrees, from each University, I usually defend things like Human Sexuality where I got an A, or Childhood Development, when I come into contact with the misogynistic views, for how women and children should be treated, & their role in society- I sometimes defend people I do not know from other countries, by telling them that they are complaining about their manhood issues when women in some foreign countries as well as children end up with gendercide, & tonight I am losing the majority of my faith in Education in general, when I have to recap what it means to struggle as a perpetual student and all the issues I would take on or face or go through or get physically harmed over or mentally or whatever.

They had some places to put for teaching, or assign other schools you can attend that is going through processing and counseling, but I really wanted to erase a lot of the parts of my education because of how many ways I have been attacked throughout my life, & then one of the Universities in the President's office told me I was not allowed to delete the HIPPA data, so it just seems like Education at the moment has become pointless because it's not the same as benefiting through unlimited possibilities or endless worth- it's just endless like I can look back at this blog from 2014 & see that I am only talking to myself at a requested public blog, & I really need to reformat & find out who can do their promises upfront so that it doesn't end in me having to petition for the falsely certification of any of the loans I have received.

What does my carbon footprint really look like when you run me through the internet and computer?

Perhaps I should have written in bolder letters that No One Invited Me on Jan 6th to Overthrow the United States Government, Men that have been Hired After Me are getting paid Before me (meaning I have not seen a dime but they have and are trying to keep me from collecting a basic minimum wage I never got to begin with) I need $23 million dollars to SAVE the American Economy, and Can I get a Witness or Minimum Wage Plus Interest?

Perhaps in pen on a poster board in my robe wasn't readable enough, but at least it was truthful & quirky.

I am talking to a friend I used to date and he is explaining homecoming for one of the Universities for the weekend.

I guess if I can survive being homeless and living in and out of hotels for a pregnancy working around the clock and three different jobs with a natural birth and parental alienation when my son entered High School and I have already put other kids through High School, and I am only half-dead coming out of a pandemic for college that never ends my life was already over before it began so I should stop complaining and find something else to focus on.

At least sometimes when I am having nightmares it is me inputting data into an excel spreadsheet.

I tried to get enthusiasm for cutting up the dog to make a book out of her since the other one died preventing a terror attack from someone wanting to shoot up a Casino.

She is super warm right now though and I put raw egg on her itchy part of her fur since I broke the egg not coordinated enough from travelling to pick the hard boiled option.

I don't know if my car was swept away either, the one that wrecked in PA.

I did tell the University of Texas at Dallas they could mail what they already own me up front to a new address.

Tomorrow or sometime this weekend in between studying and working I should be able to meet someone who is coming to town and a Concealed Carry Expo without having to pull down the shoulders of gangster's with high-powered weapons pointing them at the direction of children in ghettos because they don't like the noise in their neighborhood- but thanks to everyone who let me revist that and correcting English papers from Saudi Arabian Air Force personell,

I think one of the only things positive I have to report is that in Turkey they unearthed a Zeus and Artemis thingy archeology symposium type arena & I really do have to almost say Thank God I never got called to actually visit the Moon in outerspace since we have already been there, & that they graduated their classes for the people who were going to go. I have lived on Moon Mist in San Antonio, I would consider part of my living arrangement under those circumstances to having already lived on the Moon. 

I am happy that others who are excited about are going through. 

I have a Moon footprint from listening to Buzz Aldrin and falling asleep after listening to the New York symphony play in an arena to 2001 Oddessy which I was worried about the graphics until afterwards I looked it up and realized they made it in 1968.

Shout out to my very small donors of hush puppy money. I got $130 from a friend I prob haven't seen in 10 months I actually have no idea.

Doximity keeps wanting to connect all of my calls, but they want me to update a newer HIPPA compliant email.

One of my friends that told me he needed me to leave him for Elon Musk is justing visiting a woman who remarried that helped him with a scholarship.

I told one of my friends that is coming to town that since she was always trying to get me to particpate in being with her on the Musk Train, that now was her chance rumors were suggesting he is single and she doesn't need me to get on social media to change my last name to Musk anymore to follow along.

Astronaut training must be a constant state of fighting off Hypokalemia in extreme heat. I think this past summer I have spent more time traveling outdoors than my entire life.

​I better post so I can get back to the physical discomfort and changes in weather.

I am really designing the apps from the conceptual side and then having someone else code, from either my designs, or the mathematics. 

The following apps have a listed purpose with an explanation as to what I am doing, and all of them have patent provisional status, meaning that when my patents get filed within the year, I will have them patented.

This article was originally drafted in 2017.

I am also looking into keeping sensitive topics for view only with an access key on my site, but I started doing that at school, and then wasn't sure how to modulate other's that wanted access depending on their region.

Back to the where I began at this article writing 4 years ago- I have taken very few cryptography self-studies, and had a Community college A average in computers concerning literacy and so forth.

I spent a small portion of my time studying linguistics and understanding the history of languages, so, when I speak about coding, I do not try to pass myself off as a computer programmer- someone who has a full fledged degree in coding through computer applications, so when I talk about being the mastermind between founding an app conceptually that has to be coded- I mean it in the very literal sense and keep it separate from some of my business that I worked towards in creating, concerning "codes" that are not specific to computers coding, it is more of a multi-step process of each individual's conception towards their own codes, with their own secret-key, as a human applicant

So I do not tout that I am the genius behind the processing part of creating the hardware when it comes to automation in blockchain forms- although I did purchase www.chainblock.red (which is simply me being sarcastic in everyone's obsession with BLOCKCHAIN, and then I joined the two words together in opposite fashion)

Most of my Music is certified through a Blockchain process on a place called SoundSecure.com

I have to double-check a lot of my international business purchases to venture into places around the world, because some of my online translation when I did it through a third-party search engine (I am not going to tell you which) and then some online directories, translated for instance, something in a different language, where I was buying into creating an application for a trademark of "Protect Trust" in their language, and it came out as "I Love You" which was not what the original translation & from the texts gave meaning depending on the dialect and literal context, or someone just thought that was funny and did it in the middle of me translating it myself without assistance, therefore, while it was humorous to other people that I thought I bought one portion of what I was making in that particular country through their native language, it was what we consider a learning experience, and that is why you have to be careful & make sure that someone doesn't change things that you are meaning to do in other countries where you are not a citizen, and then into their language, without your knowledge

On top of that, when you quit studying certain languages your area in your brain loses some of that over time since your brain is also a muscle, so...

I am at a loss not being a Native in other countries for their languages and keyboards in their original tongue in a sense, but at least I can see where I spent my money trying to do the start up thingies when I was venturing out, so I can be more congruent in literature literally in the literal sense before I do not have everything set up properly and create the error.

I now also do not know if my car was washed away or if it is there where it was waiting to be fixed or to be transported back to Texas.

I haven't had time to call because I was away a few weeks working where I could not be reached, and got some feedback over some music I tried to spin into making cool from a mediator perspective that was unsuccessful, a college employee was enthusiastic about me creating it, but while most of it came out such as chemistry enough to an expert to understand the proceed for the medical sciences, the imitation for the melody sarcasm came across as probably somewhere in between violating a Geneva convention, and trying to make Insane Clown Posse love the FBI while stealing background music from EMINEM & paying off "Dr. Dre"s daughter's car payment La Tanya Danielle Young because he quit speaking to her, all at the same time- so it's kind of a no-go, plus I don't have the equipment to do anything illegal on the dark web for what some of these hackers do in "Torrenting", but I did post about it on Linked in, & then apologized to anyone that was a burn victim or a survivor of anything that needed the Geneva convention, for my suggestion, even thought it was not made public the way I was going to include it in it's entirety, I didn't realize what type of a safety issue it actually was is someone who was not trained in safety took me literally, and I was talking with people who also had to live through being told misinformation for what some of us already new about misusing chemicals, so I have to go back and reedit it and copyright it with a little less flare that could harm someone from misinterpretation

​https://genius.com/Crescenda-cause-im-a-chemical-lyrics

So I have not recorded it yet, but I am going to redo some of it that was under that context.

​

​I actually had no fears of getting vaccinated. I grew up allergic to EVERYTHING. & I do mean... EVERYTHING

Have you seen the movie the "Bubble Boy"? (That is pretty funny, a guy running down chasing after a girl while he is in a bubble

But have you see "The Boy Who LIVES in a Bubble"?

That is a dramatic way of describing what it is like growing up sick from being allergic to everything or not allowed to touch anything because children should be seen and not, you know, listened to.

I was allergic to all the major things- Milk, Eggs, Meats, you name it- they tried to put me on an all away from allergy things, but what ended up happening is that I became so malnourished, the doctors then decided I would have to learn to adapt to my allergies of food if I wanted to survive, because being free from all of my allergies would mean that my body would not process any nutrients ever longer term.

My eyes became black underneath and sunken in.

I used to have to had blood that crystalized from my nose to be cut out of it. I went through brief phases of being sick, and every time I would sneeze in the sunlight, I started thinking I must be allergic to sunlight, but I had a nurse that retired that was my grandmother, so for the most part, I was told to stay out of the sun so I would not get skin cancer, and that I had to eat everything on my plate whether I like it or not0 because she lived through the great depression.

I had a pager at an early age to make sure I was on schedule, but it meant having to leave the skating rink in order to meet to take medicines, some of which, I also ended up developing allergies to.

My family told me about stories of how polio became a thing of the past, because doctors united in wiping out polio through vaccines worldwide.

When COVID-19 came out, and the economies of the world shut down, I didn't understand that we didn't have a magical vaccine waiting around populated out of a computer system that automatically binded or was founded on the virus in order to build our immunology against it- such as the way flu strands are created in giving us a dead part of the virus and then our immune system recognizes it if we come into contact with it.

One of my roommates that used to live with me had AIDS, which is not the same thing as HIV, HIV is what causes AIDS, but AIDS is after the HIV virus takes over and breaks down and stores itself and get's part your immune system by attacking your T-cells, and she was trying to contact me when she was going through some rough times again through a family's whose medical billing company is based in San Antonio, Texas.

It was before the pandemic broke out. Right before actually, maybe 6 months.

I have a journal somewhere with notes on the pain the brain goes through when someone has AIDS in the longer terms of the sense because I was trying to understand the aging part of the brain with a person who lives and dies with something like AIDS, and she was overdosing the day of my final for a business path degree at the University of the Incarnate Word- I was not prepared to give my presentation because I had been up all night driving her to the hospital outside of the city where she wanted to be taken to Universal City- it had to be that particular hospital.

I am pretty sure if one of my presentations I was not only nervous- I started off with "Tom & Kate had a secret" & then I couldn't explain because I hadn't finished everything to prepare my presentation from the research- and the other roommate that lived with us confessed to me that he burned down an apartment complex and felt bad about it- and I told him, you know what, I may not be an attorney, but I know that if you go down there and tell them the truth, that you did this and you feel bad about it and you understand that's why you are feeing so bad about yourself, the law reads that they would give you half off of that crime to do the time for that offense. Later on, I saw part of his trial from a small monitor TV screen, and after forensics came back to confirm that he was telling the truth, not the initial response from the police that didn't believe him and thought he was trying to take credit from someone else's work, they had a trial of some sort, and they dropped his charge from 51 years to 25.

He was released this past March for serving probably under good conditions for his behavior, and due to COVD-19.

So that and then all night at the hospital, and I am not the best MBA candidate.

Besides from that, her behavior was disturbing to me when she put Comet Cleaner on my toothbrush. She didn't tell me she was hurting inside because she was not taking her AIDS medications. The hospital has to tell me.

After she was overdosing.

Before my final that day.

When AIDS first came out- there were so many rumors, propaganda, accusations that only homosexuals were getting it- or that it came from monkies.
.
She felt like she was dirty from having it so she needed to be photographed with new clothes almost every single day.

It wasn't a reality- that changing your clothes would make you any cleaner from having an autoimmune disease- but she believed it made her feel and look better.

I don't mean her clothes had to be fresh and clean everyday.

I mean she was convinced if she went shopping to buy new things everyday and them give everything away she could repeat this, and that somehow, it would hide her disease, by looking in the mirror to see herself different all the time, to never look back, to never accept, that she was HIV positive at one place in time, and now she had AIDS, and at that time, we had never heard of any examples of anything that would work for knocking out enough of the AIDS virus to prevent it from coming back.

Today, with modern technology, she can have children through medical means of intervention, in order to prevent passing AIDS on to her children.

You would think that is impossible, but it is an uncommon known phenomenon. 

Someday we will find a way to create a vaccine to prevent pandemics- when people come together to solve the problems of humanity without destroying each other through their indifferences.

I don't trust doctors that don't listen to me that there are some medicines that I am allergic to or that I don't want to take long term because it can cause an array of side effects or it is something banned from a list that goes against my life goals,

I have to finish writing this later. it is 704PM 7/7/21 and I have not even got to wear my new used shirt from goodwill, one of the puppies has decided to chew it because a Rover.com assistant was late on arrival I suppose.

My body started shutting down for about 48 hours on Saturday

I know it is Thursday, but it was a slower progress in order to feel like I could focus on feeling 100% after I couldn't get out of bed

So starting on Saturday, I completely shut down, and it took until last night to complete what I had intended to do on Saturday had it not been for burnout

I have been travelling essentially since after Storm Uri hit Texas and then I established a business address up in the North East part of the US to be able to travel home, they wanted me to obtain a new credit card in order to rent to go back to Texas, and I thought, well I would give it a go and had been planning out places up this way for decades if I was ever able to finish any business

I forgot which school in New York the South Korean coach that used his American Express to buy the beer down in Richardson was from ( I am sure it's in my notes somewhere )

Last night or the night before, I started feeling like I could walk normally and work on following up with paperwork

I got a lot of run arounds for second opinions on my vehicle that was in an accident trying to save Sophie's life that I had written a book about her before she died and ventured into drop shipping under www.LuxuryDog.Site

Today I wrote a few emails and had woken up at 2AM and then fell back asleep in the morning and then started going through about 156 items in order to go over goals & look at the tax implications

I know I filed 5 years worth of tax information, but it may have been through the business side, I have a login code for the IRS but I am unsure of how to get back to the screen that was taking all my information

I was screaming a little bit in agony during burnout and my new puppy that I am not sure about how to get her to stop chewing (I was singing to her, that only works if you are petting her not to eat everything and she is chewing on one of the chew toy bags I splurged on at Goodwill)

It kind of felt like I had been spit through working on an exhaust pipe too long but also when I used to be at Radiator Works when it used to be open or dropping engines in cars back when I was a teenager- just jetlaggy kindof but rundown, rundown, hard to move, grateful for being able to get up to drink water and lay back down, not able to drive

I was able to drive after Monday fully

I stuffed all my medical case studies in a folder and then went through an entire pad of engineering paper

I bought an adobe package but haven't had time to work on it by renewing and and sit down and download the book template for the Children's book 

I talked with someone about doing business internationally because I reinvested all of my personal income on my own and a few items were businesses for partnerships in other countries

I have mainly been in PA / NJ / DE / MD as the rental company that I was going to see about leasing the car long term or buying stated I couldn't leave these areas

It started raining heavily today and went dark and the radio was talking about a storm so I pulled over because not only could I not see, I couldn't tell if I was in the path of anything

Right now I am writing down websites of businesses I have invested in over the past few years, and some I have had projects about as early as 9 years old, so I thought about creating a few things because it makes me happy (sometimes)

One of the domain registrants called to offer me something as did another service wanting to help me with a particular site

I also got a threatening phone call from someone that had already tried attacking me but I ended up just blocking them & decided life can be shorter if you allow people who don't want to change the inability to change on their own without them downright making death threats to you or against you through other people

You can only help someone so much that resents you or continuously puts you in danger uneccesarily (I am so tired I am spelling that wrong) 

It kind of feels like I spread myself too thin until I broke into a million pieces and it is just achy all over

The new dog has been a challenge, and I forgot that I bought her her own website before I met her

it kind of feels like I am suffering from a downward spiral of anterior grade depression (like there is such a thing and I can pinpoint it in neuroanatomy on my brain LOL) from losing Sophie and things just going so wrong with the car accident and everything else BUT it doesn't hit me in waves and I am not waking up crying

I have had a few nightmares, but that is normal, and then it feels like I am processing her loss and my car not being fixed and just an unknown what happens next in an unfamiliar setting, but more importantly, with the newer pup, I have been afraid since she doesn't bark I am going to forget she is with me and I get wishy washy about it and scared and am taking it one day at a time and have entertained making sure she didn't have a better option being placed with whoever bred her- she has had SO many puppies it llooks like, but then again I have never had a dog that has ever had puppies I do not think

So I get kinda sad but it doesn't overwhelm me so much that I can't function

Wiped out from burnout yes- not moving around from depression no

I have also been having a lot of second thoughts about all of my relationships

Coming out of a pandemic, I feel so sucked out of social interactions at one point and then suffocated thinking about getting married eventually, but not suffocated from wanting to have a family or children, just suffocated emotionally thinking about where my status as a women would be compared by any man that I love

I think I have also spent a lot of time working on brain health app concepts & I bought something related to a health bot I wanted until I could figure out which .bot to buy when jeff bezos stepped down

I thought he was stepping down DOWN, but it was more like oh wow, now he is chairman

Warren Buffet that I used to study stepped down too

I thought that meant they were leaving their companies, not stepping down to a lower position

I was happy to hear that someone I met through the Dallas Chapter of the Ninety-Nines Wally Funk www.wallyfly.com got picked to go up with BlueOrigin though

One of my accountant Mensa friends that is married to a dentist is texting, I can't believe I went through two different accountants besides talking to him and gave them materials and did what they asked and they kept backing out needing more and then not knowing if they could do anything

I don't know where I am going to be able to record a few songs I have written

​I better get back tow ork while I have a little bit of energy to finish up until I pass out

I have some things to do this morning, but I am going to get back around to working on this article. before 6:57 AM 6/29/2021

I don't suppose anyone is as cool as the girl who beat me up on Goliad Rd in San Antonio, Texas- that was one of the most popular girls in the 8th grade and had everyone's signature in her yearbook.

She was a minor that was suppose to go home and her parents had to sue the city because she didn't make it.

They found their- you know, evidence of sexual relations in the back of his police vehicle.

He was Black, she was White.

Do you know where she was that her family couldn't find her?

Across the street. At a neighbor's house. A family brother, if you will. Everyone called him bubba too.

He was Hispanic though.

I want to start off writing this, by saying that, it doesn't ruin my memory of Darnell Williams carrying me around on his back in the middle of a football field at William Howard Taft High School in San Antonio. He always would say "It's cause I'm black!"

You know, people from other neighborhoods used to have to show up to make sure I wasn't black. 

I really wish we had like an intro audio with a booming voice in the background saying "Everyone knows the police are only here to get our cocaine shipments in on time from Mexico, that is what they are paid for, everyone knows the police has shitty cocaine- they have to dilute it because it's our scamma (not sure if I am spelling that right)......

or how about: MOM!!! MOM!!! AnDrea called the Mexican Mafia on me and they tried to stab me in the bathroom (What do you mean you're not apart of the Mexican Mafia, aren't you Mexican???) ~ NO! That is why they wear their spurs Tatoos on their necks, because they lick our boots

See I can't spell tattoo at 7:10AM

I have to also say this, because one of my American business partners (formerly) asked me to quit calling her any anyone else "African-American", PLEASE quit saying that, we are just Black

Then there is this guy in the background calling me "Blacker than me" we were playing video games not doing much though

So that's all really missing the point. I really don't know why I am having this discussion in the first place. Or why I am meeting with someone that is directing a clinical trial with postage signing "ALL LIVES MATTERS" in a private meeting to discuss his wife's surgery issues.

Or a group of Black boys (we call boys trying to pick up girls outside of facilities boys) telling me that I am racist and shouldn't be allowed in the facility because I won't agree with something they are asking of me concerning their gang related activities.

It doesn't erase my grandmother clapping while I am walking down the street with someone who has dark skin and she is saying "Look at Andrea holding hands with that colored boy!"

or that I made a complaint against the Black Police officer stating "Whatever you want to color me" in the race identity boxfield thingymabobber.

Or that some black people actually think that Obama is White because he went to Harvard.

I remember writing the constitution in 14 different languages for a poster presentation for a Foreign Languages Club and thinking- I really don't see how you think he looks black because he went to a particular school, but ok, whatever, I have never been there so I wouldn't know.

​I should really get something to eat before finishing writing this article. 7:28 AM 6/29/2021

It doesn't change my position to not support police, or to defund police as a whole, or donate to causes that support the police from songs I have written

Nor does it change my position on not hating people in general based on their race or their religious beliefs, such that, their beliefs are not required of them to wipe out other people based on their races and religion as well for starters

It is the same that I don't really change on telling minors not to lie about their age in order to get unknowing men thrown in jail or for someone to lie about someone doing something based on assumption such as "Well you got into a car with a Black Man" when the man was not Black he was White.

I tell people that are like that, don't blame black people when they didn't do it, I know what I saw, or I know who that was, and they were not black.

It is kind of like having to listen to people say that they will murder police if they show up at their house and that the police are aware that that is the way that they are, I don't want to be making complaints and filing reports over the incident to begin with. 

I don't want to know how horrible it sounds for someone to read the beginning of my article, and think that it is as simple as White and Black.

I sympathized with a Domestic Terrorist at some point trying to understand why he targeted White Police officers, the same way I viewed feeling sorry for Kim Jung Un being closer to my age and protested against while he was a very younger boy growing up seeing the images of his face blacked out and set on fire around him through some of the media imagery.

I don't know what it is like to be the Black Police officer that I claim assaulted me. I have evidence of what he left on my body while I was wearing my white coat when he assaulted me.

I have evidence of both black doctors that I disputed speaking with over the incident in which I asked to speak to an attorney and neither of them or the police during the incident, and there was one judge as well, who asked for me to be released.

it doesn't change that I will always remember Corporal Berry as a Black Man (who by the way didn't do it)

It doesn't change that I stayed angry for about a decade of my life upset because I felt like my Voice lesson Teacher's best friends who pushed him in a swimming pool when he really did not know how to swim and drowned because they were drunk, was a Black Educated Man.

His mother got on the local television to say that it was an accident. That didn't change the way I felt about it.

it doesn't change that I don't think historically confederate children in the south should be flip flopping into imitating historically black gangs like the bloods and the crips and they should say "You got the FLOOD (meaning you are a blood" or "You go the FLU (meaning you are representing the color BLUE as in a CRIP)"

I don't compare people to the flu- I don't think anyone should join a prison gang, period.

I don't think that if Black Educated American Men- in whatever they are selling coming up on the TV feel like "Former Slave Catchers" feel that about 'All White People" that they shouldn't be allowed to have their own opinions for whatever their emotions are.

I personally do not go through other people's family records and feel any sense of urgency to argue about how their ancestors came into this country as slaves- which is an undisputed historical fact, to prove that I have any more freedoms or rights in concerns with the foundations of any regards towards worthiness in the context of timeframes based on our ancestry.

​1:26 PM 6/29/2021

I might be forced to have it towed somewhere for storage until it get's junked or fixed.

I wrote all over it with one of my companies for www.citynights-media.com on the front and then "Sophie Puppy" on board (I adopted a new puppy that doesn't replace her, and I still feel like the dog's fur is very soft and she should become a book because I studied the founding of Harvard too long LOL jk not really, we don't know...) and she doesn't have a new name yet, and I am actually concerned in reading her paperwork how she winded up at the Pittsburg Humane Society in the first place because the owner had her from age 6 weeks until 4 years old- that is a very longer time allocated to raise an animal and bond with it, looks like she was bred (I have never had a dog that has the cow thing going on for the milking) but more importantly- it says the "Landlord didn't want dogs" and I am kind of like, how did you have this dog for 4 years and raise it as a pup and breed it when the landlord stated you couldn't have any pets or dogs or service animals or whatever?

It seems like whoever had to give up the dog and surrender it didn't really want to do that and was having landlord issues and then I am more concerned that whoever had to give up their dog- perhaps is on the out themselves and wouldn't have giving up the dog if they had a place that accepted animals to begin with

She is a blue greyish bull dog staffondshire (I am not sure if I spelled that correctly) but her previous owner stated the landlord was complaining that she was barking- she doesn't bark at all like Sophie did if someone would approach me and she is not hyper, in fact, I do not think I have ever met a dog that doesn't bark (is this pup or dog mute? I have to wonder)

She won't bark!?!?

What if I forget the dog is there somewhere because she isn't barking????

I am examining the injury or dental problems

the previous owner also did not spell her name the way the human society did properly, so I am not sure if we are going to give her a new name (She doesn't seem to respond to the name that was given to her either) 

She just keeps jumping up on me when I am trying to drive but then she rolls around and will sit back and sleep or it kind of takes her a while to chill

You know I am so fatigued from travelling, I am not really sure if I am suppose to have a dog in this rental (and I wasn't even thinking about that because I have been trying to find a second opinion to fix my vehicle)

I know I am emotionally attached to the car that I paid for and own outright but that all of the work into it would be like replacing the vehicle and GEICO doesn't insure aircraft so me writing www.airport.wtf for womenthatfly.com wasn't the brightest move either

It has to go somewhere by this Friday and I am not really sure why random people are coming up to me asking off the wall questions- I was working on something within a 100 miles range of Lancaster PA and someone to the left of me asked if I worked for Uber and he was joking and trying to talk to me essentially as a stranger and I told him that no I did not work for Uber (I asked or stated in a question as a matter of fact- Uber is owned in the United States registered from an outside entity, is that correct?) then he didn't say much and let me continue my work, but the next guy that came up to me was decked out sort of but looked troubled and then asked if I knew who Dr. Fauci was and he started offering to help have my car fixed & he was talking about issues he was having in his personal life essentially, but I ended up leaving before I could get the name of the shop as I was done with my paper.

I had to make it to the vehicle to clean some more things out and the electricity was on a little this time in the car, so they must have been able to turn on a little bit from a mechanical error.

On the back I wrote, "If you don't like the way I drive- buy me a fleet" and then on top of the back it says "Give me one million feet"

My poor car has been through so much...

it survived a Tornado weather with me - I wrote that on it too, it says "I survived a tornado with you fix me"

I have been greater at not getting sucked into living on the internet and being compared to lesser than human on Facebook (which if you watch the Social Network, you see that it was founded that way to any extent), the guy in the movie that helped cofounded was name Parker something- he wanted the user experience to "live" forever on the internet.

I cannot believe I volunteered initially to do social media for NASA to begin with and then when they explained that we had to follow the same policies and be responsible for our followers behaviors, I was like after a period of time too burned out to manage 2 million followers at that time while working and going to school

They have paid positions for that stuff now, but all of the people I knew that used to do social media went into regular media

Aries Keck anyways from what I recall moved to Washington, DC

Enterprise doesn't want me leaving back to Texas unless someone sends me a credit card 

I doubt I would get approved for the vehicle I am currently in to purchase through Kulp, but I haven't had time to try that either

I cannot remember how much time has passed since I financed a vehicle 

Actually, there was a snobbier girl I had never met name Mata at Cheverlot (it was Chevy right?) see I cannot spell that I keep getting them mixed up with GNC or Chrysler 

Chevrolet 

There I did it!

She was asking me if something was my "finance company"

I sent a fax to her directly for calculations that I had learned while I was a provisional loan officer, (for Emerald Capital Mortgage of course, before I pulled out of the industry)

I have to wonder if she is related to Michael Mata Jr (i think that is what he called himself that I met in San Antonio, his friend called him "Moots") guess it doesn't matter

Sophie bit my face when she was injured, we don't know how, and then I took out an emergency loan to patch her up & not even a month later she is no longer with us

I will have to get a facial at some point in order to smooth out the face bite

This newer pup or dog doesn't bark at all and she licks my face but hasn't tried biting me and has some dental issues, there is a tear underneath her jaw it looks like so I am wondering if she is able to chew she hasn't been eating much

I finally got to see part of the news on a television and the National Guard says they need to be paid $542 million dollars for Jan 6th and there was a structural collapse in Miami

They knew the building needed $9 million in approval for upgrades to prevent the damage

:// (Reread what you wrote last week)

Please THINK responsibly

Please THINK responsibly6/22/2021

My degrees at a baseline should be under Medical Neuroscience for a B.S. and then something with an MD/PhD combo.

Since there seems to be a discrepancy for me to be able to accept a payment or any payments from my originating university as a student worker- I am most likely going to work towards a different route in finding a place that wouldn't need to have me return and risk my education not being concluded with the degrees, because I am not sure how comfortable I feel giving a university money that was suppose to start paying me but I never saw anything from them in order to pay off my creditors and family (that does sound stupid now that you think about it right?)

Would you trust an employer to return you to school and pay you out and give you a degree or any degrees in their system if they haven't done it from the beginning? No you would not. (I have copies of my original date of hire and a certificate for the training as a Principal Investigator),

******I found the photo in my Victoria Secrets Pink Robe (that I gave away to someone who had come to Texas to campaign for Bloomberg but forgot to give the sash.) "I need 23 Million Dollars to SAVE the AMERICAN ECONOMY" (& it is a true statement that Men who have been working for the University of Texas at Dallas hired after me have been having meetings with me and getting paid the entire time when I haven't seen either my degree from them or payment since the start of being hired in 2013 (I tried to take down my Chess Paper of Scribd and it wouldn't let me), 

Pittsburgh had a Longhorns scrubs pants that I purchased.

​Now I am kind of wondering who took a picture of me and Sophie when I was in Austin, Texas

​I better get back to working at nothing...

Was happy my friend JKDA sent me a gift of Metallica under my Babylist!

Haven't made it back to see whether or not it arrived

Not sure what happens from here, but I am scrambling to get to it

Truly yours- Andrea